I was eating out at a local alehouse with my family, and my parents brought up how once upon a time we almost moved to Kentucky. It’s something that’s brought up every few years: how my dad got a job offer at a college in a small town, and they came so close to moving there that they went so far as to look at houses.
Me, exchanging grimaces with my brother: “Well, I’m glad we dodged that bullet.”
Mom: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I just don’t think I would’ve done well there.”
Dad: “Well, you would’ve grown up there.”
Me: “Yes, and I have nothing against Kansas, I’m sure it’s a lovely state, but I wouldn’t have done well there.”
Dad: “It would be the only thing you would’ve known, so you’d think differently about it.”
And I’m just sitting there thinking, okay, I’m sure growing up queer in the Bible Belt would’ve been real great. But yeah, of course you’re right, growing up there would totally make me immune to the delightful world of homophobia and transphobia.
…and that’s the story of how I almost came out to my parents to win an argument.
I have no idea what I'm doing.