I recently came across a quote by Paolo Coelho about living your life to the fullest, and it stuck with me.
I struggle a lot with being present. I’m rarely satisfied, always looking ahead for something new to pique my interest and keep me entertained. I think it all boils down to me not being present.
I can very easily try to blame it all on my mental illnesses, but if I’m being honest, that’s only a part of why I act this way. Accepting this, I can take the portion of my not-presentness spawned from habit and work on changing it. I can try to listen better when people are talking, not just hear. I can stop constantly looking into the future, worrying past the point of reason how things will turn out and wondering what I might have to do to ensure things go the way I want them to. I can give the people I love the attention they deserve. I can do all the things Coelho mentioned to try to make my life as vibrant and fulfilling as I’ve always dreamt it could be. This has all been said before; none of what I just listed are new ideas. But if I can commit to instilling them within my life, then they might just work for me. Because if I’m present—finally, truly present—then the whole world opens up to me.
I have no idea what I'm doing.