Recently, I’ve run across the term chicken fries several times, and I’m at a loss as to what they mean. While I could’ve (read: should’ve) just googled it, I decided to consult my brother.
Me: *pointing at him dramatically* “RESIDENT MEAT-EATER! I have a question.”
Ian: “Um… okay.”
Me: “What are chicken fries?”
Ian: “Excuse me?”
Me: “I keep seeing things about chicken fries. Like, what are they? I have no idea what they could possibly be. I keep thinking maybe they’re chicken strips, but… thinner? Like chicken strips on a diet?”
Ian: “I have no idea what those are. They sell them at Burger King, but I’ve never had them. I never even want to try them.”
At this point, my dad wandered out of the office.
Me: “I don’t suppose you know what chicken fries are?”
Dad: “Chicken fries?”
Me: “Yeah! I keep seeing stuff about them; there’s an entire song devoted to them.” *singing* “Little bit of chicken fries.”
Dad: “A whole song about chicken fries?”
Me: “Well, not the whole song. It’s really all about the whole country lifestyle. But it’s called chicken fries. Or maybe chicken fried. But chicken fries would make more sense, don’t you think? Not to mention it’s grammatically correct. ”
Ian: “I think chicken fries are, like, fries that are coated in chicken.”
Me: “Why couldn’t you have just said that in the first place?”
Dad: “That’s… disgusting.”
I assumed he was talking about the fries.
I looked up chicken fries later; apparently they are just chicken strips cut like French fries. I couldn’t find anything on French fries stuffed inside chicken strips; I can only assume Burger King went along and deleted any information on them online to steal the idea for themselves. I looked up the song, too, and found that it was actually called “Chicken Fried”. Also, I’d been singing the song wrong, as the actual lyrics were “you know I like my chicken fried.”
This wasn’t a good week to be a chicken, in any case.
It never is.
I have no idea what I'm doing.